Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I'M SUCH A SPLiT PERSONALiTY...

They say that I'm such a split personality, but that's what they love about me! Sometimes I'm quiet, but when I'm quiet I take time to listen and observe the world around me. Other times, I'm outgoing and spontaneous. I've been through so much for someone to be so young. I guess it affects how I act. I guess you could say that I'm lukewarm because sometimes I'm hot, other times I'm quite cold. Life has never been easy for me, my dad never really cared about me. All he did was buy me nice fancy things. He says he cares about me, but I never really felt it. The only man who cared about me is no longer in my life. He was my bestfriend, my ex-boyfriend Jay Jay. It hurt me at first, then I got use to being alone. We use to go everywhere & do everything together. We were together two years. We were so close, I knew where he was without him ever telling me or all I have to do is think about him and then he'd call. We were inseparable. He promised we'd be together forever but forever came and went I guess. I didn't know what I was going to do without him at first when we broke up, but then I realized There was nothing I can do but BREATHE and MOVE ON. Maybe the break up was for the better. I'm doing better without him than I was when I was with him. We don't call or talk to each other no more because I don't want to. It's too hard and awkward. Even when I see him I don't say anything to him. As far as I'm concerened Jay Jay is dead to me, and can someone please tell me how to talk to a ghost? That's how I feel. I feel that's he's gone and there's nothing between us but memories. Now my focus is on my baby and starting a new life, one that I can be proud of. JUST ME & MY BABY... JUST THE TWO US. I have someone to love who loves me. It's going to be BEAUTiFUL.

2 comments:

MARA said...

Girl, I can understand you. You "get" it lol. You & I are quite a like. i know we have both probably walked very different paths of life-but we have expierenced the same things. I have a couple ex's whom I wish I could simply throw the memories of them in the trash..unfortunately I cant. But, it gets easier I can testify to that-it eventually gets easier *hugs*.

Sandy said...

i can relate to the dad thing..my mom does that....my brother says she tries to buy us..but she still treats us horrible.